So, I tried again to run from my "Murphy's Law" life and start a new adventure to make something of my self! I went on a whirlwind trip to California, why?? WHY NOT!! I had packed my bags said good bye to my friends and family and said, I'll only be gone a few weeks!! Had a great bus ride out to Cali from Illinois, with my friend and her kids, and meet some new friends on the trip. I visited all over, and LOVED it so much that I set up an interview, in San Diego, at the Zoo!! There I thought, I can make a difference!! I can help animals, make people smile, laugh and give them a reason to come back! however a week before my interview, I met someone, someone who had never made me feel this way. A way that is so indescribable , that you would just have to feel it to understand it... And while my friend was heading back home, and I had an interview down in Southern California, I had a decision to make, what do I do?? Well as you all know I stayed in Northern California, because I had met someone that made me so happy, I just wanted to make sure it wasn't just a short term thing! So I transferred my job back home out to Stockton, CA to work as an assistant manager at Long John Silvers, yep yummy! :/ lol BUT, it kept me close to the special someone and allowed me to get to know him more, and Vise Versa.... And of course this special someone turned out to be my forever someone, My husband, Nick. All he had to do was say three little words, "Stay with me"! And I knew I had to see it through and see where our new found love would lead us! Soon after Nick and I got Married and we were expecting our first Child! He truly was worth staying in California for!!! I would make the same decisions again in a heart beat!! In February 2003 Andrew was welcomed into our family! He was perfect, so tiny, so full of life, love and innocence!! Shortly after Andrew came along I became pregnant again! Surprise to us, yes, but we welcomed this newest surprise in January of 2004! She came into this world with spunk, spiky hair and spoiled rotten! Our family was perfect! So complete, so happy, and we couldn't ask for more! I had escaped the "Murphy's Law" life for the time being!
In March of 2004, just two months after delivering our second bundle of joy, life handed us another dose of "Murphy's Law"! I went into to my "After baby check-up" only to hear that I tested positive for abnormal cells on my cervix. No biggy, that happens all the time to women, no cause for concern. Doctor ordered another Pap to be done in 2 weeks. So I went in, had the pap and got a phone call three days later, my pap was still abnormal, they wanted to do a biopsy. So went and had that done, and waited, 2 WEEKS! I had Stage II Cervical Cancer.... NOT AT ALL WHAT I WAS EXPECTING!! So, we went back in and discussed options.... I was still a fairly new mom of two babies, I didn't know if I was done having children!! So we opted for a Leep procedure with low dose Chemotherapy. In October of 2012 I had finished my Chemotherapy and was officially in remission!! I could still have babies if we wanted, I was still relatively healthy, all things considered!! My "Murphy's Law" life had again taken a break!! I was enjoying my time being a mom, going to school, running a daycare, living life, having fun!!
I soon decided that I wanted to help others, my doctor had actually talked to me about becoming an egg donor! He said I produce really pretty babies, and I am at a prime age, and that he knew of a great agency that had helped some of his patients out! So, my husband and I looked into it, filled out paperwork, had pictures taken, labs drawn and I was put on a donor list in late 2006! I figured it was probably never going to happen, I couldn't see someone picking me over all of the gorgeous intelligent women they had in their database!! However, I was picked pretty quickly!! I became an egg donor for the first tie in early 2007 and for a second time in late 2007!!! I had finally fulfilled my goal! I helped someone, I help people, I was making a difference, I did something right that didn't go wrong!! "Murphy's Law" had no room in my life anymore!!
Soon after donating for the second time, my husband and I moved from California to Illinois. We moved close to my family to try and let the kids experience a different way of life! Snow, thunderstorms, tornadoes and just be with my family for a while! We were doing great, bought a house, we were running our own businesses, and I was going to school, but I still wanted to do something more! SO, my husband and I made a decision to become Surrogate Parents for a couple we had met. And in early 2009 I became pregnant for this couple!!! It was amazing the entire way!!! I had friends and family helping out and so supportive, and life was great! I was expected to deliver their little bundle of joy in December 2009. Life was good, we were all happy and healthy and just living life....Until "Murphy's Law" showed its ugly mug again! On a late night in November 2009, I saw my husbands heart break into a million little pieces and our world came crashing down when we got a phone call from his family letting us know that his best friend and his step brother had passed away! That moment in time is forever etched with pain and sorrow in my heart because I could see part of my husband's life fall from his soul. We knew right away that he had to be in California, so we got on the computer right away and got him a ticket so he could baby his families side. One of the hardest times in life, and I had to have my go through it alone as I was so far along there was no chance in the doctor letting me fly!! So I said my prayers and goodbyes from a distance and prayed for some closure for my husband and his family. On the day he was laid to rest, I had distracted myself from my thoughts and just went out and about with my brother and family friends! Got out of the house, went Christmas shopping, and out to eat then came home to my mom and sister who had the kids bathed and fed and ready for bed!! So they unloaded the car as I spoke to Nick on the phone, told him goodnight as he went into a movie theater to take his mind off of things. Sat down to finally stop for the night, only to have my crazy cat decide she needed to be outside! So I waddled to the door let her out, turned back around and realized that my water had broke!! Yep 4 weeks early, and my husband was out of State, and the parents were 6 hours away!! "Murphy's law" was laughing about this time!! So I calmly called my husband back and let him know that there was no way he was going to be able to get a hold of me for a while and that he wasn't going to make it back for the delivery! So I got in the car a headed off to the hospital, brother, mom, sister, and doula (also good friend) all right there with me! Heading to the hospital I called the parents and let them know it was time!! Yes, I said they were six hours away, they made it in 4! :) luckily for them contractions had not started and no meds were given until they were 1/2 hr away! It took about an hour for them meds to start my contractions and within a couple hours he was here!! I delivered a healthy baby boy for the Parents!! They were part of the whole process from beginning to end and had tears of joy and the look of "oh my God, we are parents" on their faces! It was amazing and beautiful and perfect!! And the little bundle of joy, Jesse, was swept up with love!!! Bye bye "Murphy's Law"!! We still to this day have a great connection with the family!! :)
In 2010 we decided as a family it was time to move back to California, we put our house up for sale, after remodeling it, and had it sell within a few months! We headed back to Cali with two trailers in tow and my Mother-In-Law along to help us with the kids!! We made our trip back a vacation, we went the northern route and visited a lot of neat places including the Corn Palace, Wahl Drugs, Sturges, and Mt Rushmore!! It was a pretty easy trip, fun and lots of adventures!! Until we were in a hotel room getting ready to go to Mt Rushmore when Andrew had a melt down, Nick pulled him out of the room to try and get him to cool down, closing the door behind him, only Andrew had stuck his fingers into the door jam, three of his fingers got smashed!! One broken and all three bruised, swollen and in a lot of pain! Poor guys!! Andrew was in so much pain and Nick felt bad for a simple mistake, it was definitely a bad start to the day! However Andrew rallied on and wanted to still go to Mt Rushmore and and enjoyed the rest of his trip drugged up and his hand wrapped up! Lol
So life continued on when we got back to Cali, we went to Nick's Brother's wedding in LA, and Nick went back to work at his families business and I started looking for work!! Nothing was happening, I couldn't find anything!! No One was hiring! So time went on and I kept looking and out of the blue I get a call from an old friend, she had started a new business and she was looking for someone to run the office area!! I jumped on board and started working right away. However just before getting hired Nick and I were selected to be surrogate parents for a new couple!! We had started the process and had things rolling and the doctor said last minute, why don't we go ahead and do a pap again, even though your last one was done a couple months ago, so that way you don't got over a year without having one! Okay, no biggy... Until I get a call to stop my medications, that they had found a high level of Abnormal cells on my Cervix! (WELL HELLO "Murphy's Law"!) The doctor said he wasn't too concerned about it because I was Negative for HPV, said it will probably clear and we will restart the cycle in a few weeks.... 2 weeks later I had a pap done again, and again, same results, so they sent me to see my regular OBGYN to have me follow up with him until things clear up then I would cod back for the cycle.... So my regular OBGYN decided to do a colposcopy, and see what kind of cells they were. I again got a call a few weeks later, March 19th, 2012, stating that I had Stage II Cervical Cancer, I could not continue on with the surrogacy until ALL Cells were removed and I was cleared, unfortunately it had traveled up the canal and had gone to far for me to ever safely carry a child again after surgery. We had to cancel the cycle. :( I went in for LEEPs and then finally I had a conization with partial hysterectomy. Now we had to wait until I healed from surgery to do another pap to make sure all of the cells were gone. 6 weeks!!
During the time we were waiting during a follow up exam, I was talking to the doctor about a cyst that I had on my right breast that still was there from a few years prior. And he had said casually, it's no biggy, but since it is still there we will get a baseline Mammogram and MRI with contrast dye... Make sure it isn't something else. Well of course that was like pulling teeth trying to get VA insurance to approve that!! So that was a long process which resulted in both test being done and the doctor calling me back up saying, there is a lump and we need to biopsy it. I told him he must have the wrong chart because mine was just a cyst and that it was already verified by ultrasound two years prior. He then stated that the cyst was still there, but that there was a mass also found in my left breast! And of course, I wasn't too concerned because I was only 28!! I was told more times that I could count over the past two years that I shouldn't worry about lumps in my breast because I was too young or Breast Cancer! SO, we scheduled the Biopsy, which by the way was NOT pleasant as they couldn't numb the whole area and they had a hard time getting to the area! But they got 4 biopsies and sent them off. I was sent home to wait. I got a call two weeks later stating they were inconclusive and wanted to do the biopsy again. HELL NO!! So we had a discussion and the doctor yet again stated it probably isn't cancer because you are too young, but we can't be 100% sure, so we want to do another biopsy. Was NOT doing another because I figured cancer or not, I wanted it out and I wanted all of it gone if it was cancer! So I requested a Lumpectomy. This was first denied by insurance (go figure!!) then eventually approved because of my history and because it was such a hard area to get too! On September 6th, 2012 I was taken in for a lumpectomy. I was released same day, and was told that if I didn't hear from the doctor right away it was probably fine and that he would see me at my follow up appointment on October 2nd.... Well a week went by, September 11th came and went, and then another week, September 18th was here and I was chatting with a girlfriend of mine. I said "it's been almost two weeks, haven't heard a thing so I have to be fine!!" Went off to work, walking around the office and my cell rings and it is un unknown number, normally I don't answer them, but it was so busy I just did out of habit. As soon as I heard my doctor's voice I knew! He said, "Jessica"... And I said, "I know why your calling...would you hate me if I hung up right now?" He giggled a little and said, "no, but this is important and we do need to talk about this now!" He had told me they had results back on the 8th but didn't believe what they said, so they retested and had them back on the 11th and then sent them out to two major Cancer Centers to verify the information and he was gone until the 18th, and was calling me from his home because he had just gotten the results. I did in fact have Breast Cancer, they did Not get it all, AND it was a very rare aggressive form that they were unsure of how to treat, which had made its way from my breast to my Chest Cavity! His recommendation was for an immediate Bilateral Mastectomy with Bilateral Lymph Node Dissection and Left Pectoral Dissection. I told him I needed some time to think and tell my husband and get my kids taken care off. Dan he said let's wait until your appointment on October 2nd and then go over all of your options again after I consult with the board members, and a few outside Cancer Centers and you have had time to digest this.... So we went in on October 2nd and of course me thinking that I was just hearing him wrong, thought, nah it isn't that bad, we won't have to be that drastic, we will see!! Boy was I wrong!!! Everyone had confirmed that this was the best course of treatment and any other treatments would be decided after that but we did know it would involve Chemotherapy as well... They had scheduled my surgery for two days later!! I just couldn't do it! I had my babies to think about!! I told them to put it off, so they did until October 19th, reluctantly! But I was taking my babies to Disneyland!! "Murphy's Law" was NOT taking over this time! I knew that not know how bad this was, I wanted to make sure my babies got to go to Disneyland with me!!! Boy was that a trip to remember!! It was amazing, fun and full of love and hope!! We returned after A few days and celebrated my 29th birthday on October 18th, 2012 with family and then finished with a BANG on the 19th with my ALL DAY LONG SURGERY! 3 sets of doctors and nurses and one hell of a way too celebrate!!
To be continued......
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