Handling the news as a child that Mommy is sick!

IT was hard as an adult to hear the words "CANCER"... However I just couldn't tell the kids right away, I couldn't let them see me upset or, mad, or scared! I HAD to be strong when we told them, or my kids would think the worst!! However, being armed with very little information, and not a lot knowing a lot about this particular strand of Breast cancer, we were a little scared ourselves!!

I had been diagnosed a while after I had already been seeing the doctors; due to the surrogacy and cervical cancer, so it was a little easier for the kids to handle the news that I was going to need more surgeries. However that was the end of the line.....

My daughter almost completely withdrew from talking to me about me, and my daily activities, and started relying more on her dad, teacher, brother, friends and writing. She acted almost as if nothing was wrong with me, didn't like to talk about cancer, or what was happening or what she was seeing... It was hard watching her dealing with this on her own, and trying to allow her to do it her own way. I wanted her to talk about it, and tell me her fears, wishes, hopes and thoughts. However, I didn't want to push it from what the doctors and past patients had told me, "just let her figure things out and work through it on her own and when she is ready she will let you know" That was the hardest thing, and she still doesn't talk much about it, but I have noticed she is starting to turn back to me now when something is wrong and being able to confide in me again about all of her issues and desires as a young girl. She now thrives on school, friendship, soccer, family and of course chocolate!!!

My son, being my son took an analytical approach to my treatment! He wanted to know details of how long, how bad, the statistics, everything! The problem with that is we didn't know all the information ourselves, and he was only 9, and a boy!! He shouldn't have to worry about mom's boobs!!! However he still had a few statistics to spout off about, "Statistically speaking, a woman  your age diagnosed with breast cancer typically either passes away at a early age of it being so far advanced or has it return later on as a cancer that has spread!" What a way to knock me off my seat!!! Yes, my son had used this approach the whole treatmetn and continues to use it on me!! He would hug me every day and tell me he was sorry that I had breast cancer! There were times when we would be walking in the store and I would be just so tired I had to just stop and stand in the middle of the isle, and he would walk back and ask if I was okay and say he was sorry... A little boy his age should not feel sorry for his mom, he should be worried about his school, friends, computers, books and just normal fun! It scared him that I was sick, and he hated the fact that people die from cancer. Not knowing how my cancer reacts to treatments and the over all over looming possibility that I may be one of those statistics scared him, and worried him!! He soon got to see that I was stronger than I let on, and that he and his sister gave me that strength!

My children will always be my main concern, and will always be my biggest support system. Along with my husband, my children and myself, I will fight tooth and nail and prevail!!!