Bucket List - Where will your's take you??

I'm not sure if I am the only one out there, besides a few others I know, that actually have a Bucket List!? I found it shocking that as I was talking about it at Christmas time that a lot of people thought it to be morbid, or strange, that at my age, I have a Bucket List! I also have a fairly large Bucket List, 100 things to be exact! I am fairly proud of a lot of them also! Some of them are so very simple, writing letters to loved ones, learning how to do something, or going to certain places. Some of them are very heartfelt, dancing with my husband, seeing the sunset on the beach, have one whole day with just myself and each one of my family members. And some are to help be grow, learn and build one what I already know and do. Make a self portrait, be a healthy weight, write a book (doesn't have to be published, just write it), and run in a 1/2 Marathon and a Marathon! Yea, a lot of these are simple, like eat an entire meal with Chop Sticks, however, have you ever sat and thought about the things in your life that could, and or would make a difference, or just open you mind to new or different experiences that you would have previously not done? It can open your whole world!

I am looking to add a few more things onto my list, so if you have any ideas, some off the wall ones are good too, you can let me know! But over this next year I will be doing a series of different things on my Bucket List that I will try and include you all in on! One of which I will be starting on the 1st day of the year 2014, I will be taking a "selfie" pic or have a picture taken of me every day for the entire year! Life has definitely shown me that things can change in an instant, and I want to document every step!! Bad or good, beautiful or not, sick or healthy, I want to see, I want to show everyone that no matter what, life will go on!

Also in the year 2014 I will be finishing up (hopefully) one of my bucket list items that I started in the year 2013! I have vowed to learn how to make 365 new dishes! It can be a simple dish, to an elaborate dish, breads, full meals, desserts, etc.... No matter what I will open my eyes to new meals, tastes, and cultures! This has been SO much fun so far, I will make sure I find some of my previous Favorites and post them for all of you to experience yourselves!

Adding to the previous ones, I will attempt a self portrait, hopefully have a spa day (never been to the spa!), and run my first ever Half Marathon! Yea, yea I know, it seems a little extreme, a self portrait! I know it might take me all year to do it! hahaha I can not wait to see the finish product of that!

Some time early in the new year, I hope to post a list of my bucket list, and completed items so I can hopefully expand my horizons even further! Please feel free to share any ideas with me! You can respond to me on here or:

olsenjesi@gmail.net
https://www.facebook.com/murf2020

Sunsets are one of the simplest pleasures in life, don't miss out! 

Look up, open your eyes, 

and just imagine where life can take you!

Life as we know it....

Life as we know it is just merely an illusion that we choose to believe and tell others it is! In reality, life is usually either worse off or better off than we lead others to believe! For instance, you have those that are dying, and feel like death has already attached to their bodies, but still go on hiding the fact that they are dying, feeling like they are dying and just plane depressed. To the outside world, some of these people seem as though they are at peace with the world, and everything that is happening. Obviously there are many that are completely at peace, but there are also many that are not! They are dying inside, ready to let those around them know how they are truly feeling, except they can't bring themselves to do it! Why, you ask? Well, they don't want to burden others with their thoughts, feelings, anxiety, and fears!

Then there are those that have everything they could possibly ever want, and are truly happy, outside, but inside they are still dying for something, maybe attention, love, affection, money, or just plane notification. They could have a gorgeous car, house, three kids, and loving devoted spouse, all the money they need and everything they wish for, but still be missing the one thing that will ultimately make them happy. What, you ask? Well, it depends on each individual! I know a few people like this but always seem to be depressed and can not put their finger on what would truly make them happy.

I believe that both are true fears and lies and why society has become the way it has become! I for one am happy some days and others, I am depressed. Going through the struggles that I have been through in my life, I still feel blessed, honored that I am still here, and glad that I have every day that I am given to make it better! I have been depressed, I do have days that I am depressed, but no one out there is perfect, so please let's not act as though it perfect or absolutely horrible. Please lets be honest about how we feel, think, and react as such. Lets not be over dramatic about how bad or good things really are! Life is life and we should be able to see life as it should be, not as an illusion for others to gossip about to make their lives fuller!

Life is a blessing, lets be thankful for it!

Surgical Treatment Controversy....

So in the news lately I have been hearing a lot of controversy regarding whether some of the women/men actually need the surgery to remove the cancer, instead of just treating it with Chemo and/or radiation. Well here is my thought:

I was presented with Breast Cancer and Cervical Cancer (2x's) and once I had surgery to remove the cancer in the cervix, it went away only to return. I was then diagnosed with Breast Cancer, which is a lot more aggressive than Cervical Cancer! Now if I had a choice, which I didn't, of Surgery OR Poison to kill of the Cancer Cells, and they could tell me that either would do the exact same thing. I would have STILL chosen the surgery! Here is why:

I have breasts, breast tissue, and treating breast tissue with Chemo and/or radiation does not kill breast tissue, leaving tissue to later get a disease possibly.  SO, if you have a choice to remove it and have a less than 1% chance of re-occurrence or occurrence at all, why not?! I still had to have Chemo, but no radiation, so after going through Chemo twice, I would MUCH rather have a surgery than Chemo any day! Chemo literally states on the bag and the literature "poison" so if you could have surgery to remove this horrible disease instead of poisoning your body, why not?

This is obviously case by case, this in no way accounts for every patient, type of Cancer, or person. I have my own beliefs behind this, this is not everyone's belief, and I am okay with that! I will not argue with anyone regarding this, because again everyone has their own beliefs, feelings, religious reasons, and personal reasons. I personally like my "New Boobs", but the surgeries are hard, are grueling, and are not always 100%, but I do like my odds better now than if I were to have NOT had the surgery! My other reasons
behind why I did EVERYTHING in my power to ensure that there was NO more Cancer in my body....

       These three amazing people,
                           they were reason enough!

Miles Adding Memories For Komen 3-Day

Hello everyone! This next year, 2014, I have set out to embark on one of the most amazing, hard, and rewarding journeys EVER! Luckily I will embark on this journey with my sister, Alicia Murphy, and Many others!!!

We have set out to walk as many miles as those diagnosed in 2012 with Breast Cancer! And to top that cake with icing, we have also set out to raise $1 for Every mile we walk as well!!! That would be a total of $296,298 and 296, 298 miles!! Why you ask, well for starters I was diagnosed in early 2012, at the age of 28 with a rare and aggressive form of Breast Cancer! AND about the same time a few of my "Breast Sisters" were also diagnosed, and unfortunately have since lost the battle. And these wonderful women that lost the battle were also under the age of 30 when diagnosed! We are embarking on this journey to show that women (and men) can get Breast Cancer at a very young age, and it can be just as deadly! It is important that those women out there that want to get a mammogram or other diagnostic screening, that they can without being denied by insurance! And/or if they need treatment they can get it, immediately, without having to deal with the insurance companies! It is vital that we raise awareness about this and raise as much money as possible for treatment and for research! This is becoming more and more of a problem, women & men younger and younger seem to be getting diagnosed, and it is baffling, and heart breaking! Please join us in the fight against Breast Cancer, one dollar or one step at a time!

Thank you,
Jessica Olsen & Alicia Murphy

Miles Adding Memories For Komen 3-Day
The 3-Day

Christmas 2013

Hello everyone! I am sorry for my break away, it was much needed I feel as I was spending some much needed time working and with my family making some wonderful memories! So here is the newest update:

I have recently been to the doctor and I have been given a clean bill of health for the moment! I have been blessed with this as I look around and see others that are losing their battles, and fight to keep every day, and make every day a memory for their loved ones! I loved seeing the look on my Grandma & Grandpa's faces as I surprised them by coming home before Thanksgiving this year! The look, love and warmth I felt as I walked into that house was indescribable! It was a short trip home, but a much needed one, as my Grandparents are getting older, and having health issues of their own, and I have not been able to see them or them see me in 3 1/2 years! After getting to spend much needed time with them, I came home and continued to work, and get the family ready for Christmas! This last October we were able to purchase a Short Sale home, so we had just finished up the work on the house to prepare it for Christmas Decorations! This is when the fun began!

We bought our first ever REAL tree, and it is HUGE! :) We got almost a 10 foot tree! It is so pretty, and the smell and "realness" that it gave to OUR house! The excitement in the kids voices, and smiles on their faces, and giddiness of putting the ornaments on the tree, it was all a site to see! And I was actually present for it this year! I was here, I was lucid, I got to feel and see the love and comfort! And this year on Christmas I was surrounded by loved ones, and that is all that mattered! I didn't need or want anything but to be present, and I was! :) That was the BEST Christmas present ever!

My Life is real, My life is full, and My life is GREAT! Thank you all for making my life Great!

Merry Christmas form ours to yours!

Pamper Your Kitchen for a GREAT Cause!!!

I have only a short time left to get orders in!!!! Please check out my page and get some great stuff for your home, host your own party, or even sign up to sell this wonderful stuff yourself!!!! AND the added bonus is that you help out an AMAZING CAUSE just by purchasing the stuff you already love!!!! You can share this with anyone and everyone!!!!! Please help me reach my goal for the Susan G Komen 3-day Faster by going to the link below and purchasing your favorite items!!! I would recommend the Knives and the Stoneware!!! I LOVE both of those types of items!!!!! 
Purchase $60.00 or more in product you get a FREE item!!!!  The person with the HIGHEST purchase price will also receive a gift from me!!!  

Thank you!!!!!!

http://www.pamperedchef.biz/luvmykitchen?page=host-search-results&showId=4244370

Statistics... Hmmm, I think I will pass and make my own path!!!

Statistically speaking, the type of breast cancer that I was diagnosed with was found first in 2000, and makes up for less than 0.1% of ALL breast cancers diagnosed!! Statistically speaking, most doctors have never, first hand, seen this type of cancer! Statistically speaking, most doctors would not know what their first step in treatment would be because of the lack of information on this type of Cancer. Statistically speaking, the guess at the 5 year reoccurrence rate for my type of breast cancer is 67%, after treatment. WELL, Statistically speaking can kiss my ass!!!

I am basing my treatment off of, who the F cares that there is not enough evidence to prove this or that or the other! Lets just treat it and get as much of it out as possible! And that is what my doctors did! None of them have ever seen it first hand, and none of them have certainly never treated it, so we did the most aggressive form of surgery possible, because my life is more important that Statistics! We did an aggressive treatment of Chemotherapy following, not knowing if it was truly needed but still aired on the side of caution, because again my life more important that statistics! Every part of my treatment has been a guess from day one to ensure that my life stays more important than the statistics!

My mom has ALWAYS told me I am not normal, getting two different types of cancer before the age of 28, and betting one type twice, and then diagnosed with the rarest form of breast cancer, I truly believe her! lol She always meant it in a loving and kind way, and I have always taken it that way! NOW, my doctors are 100% convinced of this as well! lol It is a running joke that when I come in I am "Walking Murphy's Law"! SO as for statistics they can kiss it, because I will make my own statistic one way or the other! And so far, I am beating it , and making the statistics quiver!

I hope that someday, my weird and not normal journey will help someone else tell the statistics to kiss it! A lot of people are unaware that no matter what type of cancer you have, if it is the rarest or the most diagnosed, each case is still very unique! Each person is unique so even if similar people get the exact same type of cancer, in the exact same spot, with the exact same staging, they could still have different outcomes and treatments! So Statistics are just statistics and NO ONE needs to read into them!

Statistics can kiss it!!! I on the other hand have more important kisses!!!!

BOOBS!!! (.)(.) ~ ( . ) ( . ) ~ ( . ) ( . ) ~ ( . )( . ) All different kinds!

Yep, Boobs!! Who would have thought that they could be SO DAMN COMPLICATED?! Yep! Complicated! When we are growing up, girls can't wait to get them! Boy's can't wait to see them! They are one of the first things boys notice about a girl. They are what makes girls feel like a "woman" when they have to purchase their first bra!! They can get a girl drinks, they can be called man boobs or pecs for a man, which can also get them drinks!

When I found out that my breasts, which I happened to like, were trying to kill me, I immediately, without hesitation, agreed to have them removed! It was for the best, it would help save my life and allow me to see my children continue to grow! It was a no brainer. But why does something that affects everyone's life in some way shape or form, have to be so deadly?! Whelp, just another piece to the large puzzle our lives make! I got over having a part of me hacked off like it was killing me...oh wait....

So anyway, got over it, and had expanders put in to help the skin stretch back out to allow room for implants. Seems simple enough, they take the expanders out, and replace them with implants! NOPE! I think it took an hour (today) and three months to decide what would look more "normal" for me! There are SO many different decisions when it comes to implants!! Who would have thought!? There are so many different types of implants, Saline, silicone, Silicone gel, and Silicone semi-solid! So you first get to decide what type of implant you want! After that is decided then you have to decide how "projected" you want them to be! THEN you get measured and they tell you how wide or narrow the implants can be, so you get to decide that, if you want your breast to be narrower, or wider! THEN you get to decide how much volume you get in them! (some of these are limited depending on skin, trauma, and other factors) AND, after all of that is said and done, you still are not sure the right decision is getting made! lol So instead of deciding what I like and what I want, I narrowed it down and told the doctor, put in whatever makes me look as close to what I was and as natural as I was as possible and just be done with it.

Psh... "Ain't nobody got time for that!"


We like them big, we like them small, we like them perky and saggy, we like them all... SO when you wake up on the first of the month, Men or women, young or old, big or small, grab a hold and feel them all!!!

Have you performed your self check this month??

One Person, one year, one amazing transformation!

When I heard the words "one person, one year, one amazing transformation", I thought, yep that is exactly right!! No, I was not on an extreme weight loss program, but I had the year that certainly changed me! I will have had (in one year) 24 surgeries, chemotherapy, Sepsis, rejection of an expander, loss of hair, loss of nails, loss of family and friends, and much & much & more; and I gained all the support, love and care that anyone could ever want! Better yet, I have learned awareness, patience, forgiveness, and a whole new lease on life! Of what I have lost over the last year... I have gained so much more.... I am a better person!!!

Before & After 

<-Bilateral Mastectomy

^ Expander Replacement

Before partial Hysterectomy
       ->







^ Before Bilateral Mastectomy

 Central Line again^

 During sepsis ^--------------------^

All the Different placements for an IV!!!

After my lumpectomy (below) I looked dead! :/

^ Aftermath of the Hysterectomy

<- Port






Chemo ->

After Bilateral Mastectomy (Below)

<-Heart Check

^ After the removal of the final ovary ("Forgotten" Ovary)

When Life gives you Lemons.... You squeeze like hell until you get something beautiful!!

We all know at some point in our lives, life with shit on us with lemons.... we are just not sure when, how big the lemons will be and how sour or sweet they will be! Someone out there is driving their car down the road and they will end up rear ending someone... not injuring themselves or any one else, but of course, when it rains it pours. So that person you just saw rear end someone else, and you think, "Man they were lucky"... You should also realize that maybe just maybe this was just the end to a bad string of bad days! So the next time you see someone rear end someone else, maybe you should stop, and check on both parties! Who knows, maybe that man that just rear ended that lady, just lost his wife! YOU could be the change in their whole day! You could be the one that helps them make since of what just happened, you could be their saving grace!

If God has blessed you with wealth, and you are unhappy, maybe it is because you are lonely and all alone, or because you are bored, or because you have so much money and you don't know what to do with it, and aren't seeing anything good come out of it! SO MAYBE, you can share your wealth, go to a diner, sit down, order a soda and leave a ginormous tip for the overly worked, tired, sore and pregnant mother that is waiting on you. Or go to a fast food drive-thru and pay for the person behind you, just because! Feel like shopping, but you know you already have too much stuff and you really don't need anymore? Go grocery shopping and drop it off at a local Daycare center! Matter of fact, you don't have to be rich or wealthy, you just have to open your eyes to the world around you and realize that we are all holding a bag of giant sour lemons, why don't you got take some lemons from someone and make their load a lot or a little lighter? God knows he will reward you in return and take your lemons from you!

The something beautiful that can come out of squeezing your lemons, is a smile on someone else's face! The pure joy they get just from a simple act that you and I and everyone is capable and able to do! So why is it that we do not do this on a daily basis?? Because the world has gotten too selfish, everyone worries about their own problems so much that they refuse to open their eyes to someone that has it worse than you! There is someone out there that their day will forever be changed if you just smiled, shared, or hugged! Have you opened your eyes today???

You are never guaranteed tomorrow, 

so today open your heart, and let it sing today!!